Thick-Skin

2 Corinthians 7:8-10 For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it-though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no less through us. For godly grief produces repentance that leads to salvation without regret.

Paul truly loves these people. How do we know? Because he is willing to be honest with them, even to the point that they experienced grief. To some this sounds strange, but to us to have experienced this type of grief, it is refreshing.

I played high school baseball for a man named Murl Bowen. He is literally THE WINNINGEST HIGH SCHOOL BASEBALL COACH in history. I know that sounds a little far-fetched for most of you, but it is true. Wikipedia (my friend Bruce Kendrick’s favorite source to site for research papers) puts it like this, in the article about Asher, Oklahoma:

“In those forty years, Asher won 2,115 games, lost only 349, hauled home forty-five state championship trophies, fourteen state runner-ups, and sent dozens of players to college and minor-league baseball. No high school in history, public or private, has won as many games as the Asher Indians.”

Not a bad career, if you ask me. What made him so successful? I am sure there were many factors that led to that incredible run, however I remember one in particular. Coach Bowen was honest with his players. He told his players what they needed to know in order to improve, on and off the field. I remember several times when coach Bowen said something to me that made me feel like a complete moron at the time, but later proved to help me immensely in baseball and in life. One such phrase he uttered consistently, to help us be the best player we were capable of was, “Know your limits.” If you were a power hitter, then great. If not, then don’t try to hit the ball out of the yard just to prove how manly you were. I was not a power hitter.

I also remember one time, my freshman or sophomore year, that I had some crazy haircut that looked really stupid. We were at a tournament in Eakly, Oklahoma when coach Bowen took me aside very calmly and told me, “Kris, you look like a horses a**.” At the time I was offended, but not long after I realized that he was right, I did look like a horses a** with that haircut.

I use coach Bowen as an example of a leader who cares enough for his followers to be honest. Honesty does not mean cruelty, though. According to Paul in 2 Corinthians 7:8-10, he regretted his outright honesty at first. Later, however, when he saw the repentance that it produced, he did not regret it, but rejoiced!

My prayer for all who read this, is that we would love the people we lead (including ourselves) enough to be lovingly honest for the purpose of godliness. Amen.